Fatherhood
More Reasons Kids Need Dads…
Jun 2nd
I found this article about a study conducted at the University of Florida that found the hidden benefits of being an involved father. The study found that kids who have involved fathers score higher on cognitive tests, had lower rates of teen violence and have greater career success. I love this stuff, it just goes to show that dads are not only desirable but down right necessary! Check it out.
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Same Old Conversation
Mar 11th
I had an interesting, albeit typical, situation the other day and I wonder if anyone has had similar experiences. I was having lunch with two business associates, one of them is expecting his first child in October and the other has decided not to have a family. The former, I’ll call him Bob, was very curious about life with kids and asked several questions about what to expect. I was really enjoying our conversation and the chance to share with Bob all the joys that he was in for.
Sadly, however, the other man, I’ll call him Tom, was completely intolerant and ignorant throughout the entire conversation. It was so pathetic to see a grown man so threatened by the idea of dedicating himself to a family and kids. He was full of meat-head comments that were meant to belittle our choices as fathers. I love being a dad! I love seeing my daughter’s face when I come into her room first thing in the morning. I love hearing her giggle when I tickle her or make faces. I love watching her learn new things and the excitement I share with her as she experiences the world. I feel so sorry for Tom and the fact that he will never have that joy, and worse, that he feels the need to undermine that joy in other men. I respect his decision not to have children and found myself oddly reassured of my decision to have a family. I made a commitment to become more than just a man but rather to be the most important person in my family’s lives and to be a dad.
Love to hear your thoughts.
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Allied Discipline
Feb 1st
My wife and I find ourselves in a spot that really surprises us. Even though we thought for sure she would be the strong disciplinarian (she teaches elementary school) it turns out that I am far firmer than she is. We believe strongly in establishing ourselves as a team that cannot be separated when it comes to family decisions. We want our daughter to know that she cannot play one of us against the other, but that gets more and more difficult as I tend to be more strict than my wife. She definitely subscribes to the ideas of attachment parenting more than I am comfortable with. I have read quite a bit in order to understand the theory and I do agree with several aspects, however there are differences we don’t agree on. Luckily, our communication is strong and we are able to talk about inconsistencies to ensure that they don’t keep going. I guess the parenting thing takes practice and this is just one reminder of the fact that we are just beginning to learn the process!
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Reading Ideas For New/Expecting Dads
Jan 23rd
Before my daughter was born I read as much as I could about the role of fathers on their children. I realize that new fathers want to be as informed as possible, so I would like to compile a list of helpful (or not so helpful)
books and resources.
I would strongly recommend “The Expectant Father” by Armin Brott and Jennifer Ash (Abbeville Press). I’d also encourage you to read “The Collected Wisdom of Fathers” by Will Glennon (Conari Press) — while it’s not specifically for expecting dads, it is a wonderful introduction to passion and power of being a father.
Please share other titles we should consider and the insight they have provided.
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