b
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Homepage: http://www.smartfathers.com
Posts by b
DO OVER!!!
May 22nd
I have to completely redo my blog. NOT HAPPY! My backup didn’t take so when I upgraded WordPress I wiped out my entire blog. I guess the good news is that I really didn’t have that much to lose. I hadn’t posted for almost a year. Very pathetic. But maybe that’s ok. I’m taking this into a new direction anyway so maybe a fresh start is exactly what I (the blog) needed.
Same Old Conversation
Mar 11th
I had an interesting, albeit typical, situation the other day and I wonder if anyone has had similar experiences. I was having lunch with two business associates, one of them is expecting his first child in October and the other has decided not to have a family. The former, I’ll call him Bob, was very curious about life with kids and asked several questions about what to expect. I was really enjoying our conversation and the chance to share with Bob all the joys that he was in for.
Sadly, however, the other man, I’ll call him Tom, was completely intolerant and ignorant throughout the entire conversation. It was so pathetic to see a grown man so threatened by the idea of dedicating himself to a family and kids. He was full of meat-head comments that were meant to belittle our choices as fathers. I love being a dad! I love seeing my daughter’s face when I come into her room first thing in the morning. I love hearing her giggle when I tickle her or make faces. I love watching her learn new things and the excitement I share with her as she experiences the world. I feel so sorry for Tom and the fact that he will never have that joy, and worse, that he feels the need to undermine that joy in other men. I respect his decision not to have children and found myself oddly reassured of my decision to have a family. I made a commitment to become more than just a man but rather to be the most important person in my family’s lives and to be a dad.
Love to hear your thoughts.
b
Breastfeeding Creates World Peace
Feb 14th
OK, maybe that is an overstatement, but my wife and I are committed to breastfeeding and today another study was released reminding us of the benefits of breastfeeding our children. I know it wasn’t always easy for my wife to make sure our daughter was given breast milk only but she successfully nursed for well over a year. The World Health Organization recommends babies nurse for two years and the worldwide average is closer to 4 years. As a family our goal was over a year of breast milk only.
I know sometimes fathers are not sure of their role in the breastfeeding process and that can be difficult. One thing my wife and I did was to make sure that I gave our daughter her final evening feeding of pumped breast milk so that I was able to feed her as well. I think that often the most important thing a father can do is to understand the importance of breastfeeding and support our partners as they make it a priority. For that reason I am posting two links to remind us all why we are willing to sacrifice our time and ‘play things’ for the benefit of our newborns. 
b
101 Reasons To Breastfeed Your Child – via Promom.org
Breast-Fed Babies Move Up In Life – via Discovery Channel
I think readers would be interested in other ways you can support nursing moms- any tips?
Romance? Really?
Feb 13th
So Valentine’s Day is always a time for showing love to your significant other, but this year it seems more unrealistic than ever. We struggle to make lunches and get ready for the next morning each evening and our little girl leaves us exhausted. Even ignoring the fact that my wife is 8 months pregnant you can see the dilemma of Valentine’s Day presents.
It turns out the internet is a wealth of information and tips (for good or bad). I found a few links that might help all of us fathers scratch the surface of how much we love our wives. If you have other ideas please post them so we can benefit from your wisdom.
b
Various love articles – via Marriedromance.com
Valentine Ideas – via MyDearValentine.com
Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas – via AskMen.com
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Allied Discipline
Feb 1st
My wife and I find ourselves in a spot that really surprises us. Even though we thought for sure she would be the strong disciplinarian (she teaches elementary school) it turns out that I am far firmer than she is. We believe strongly in establishing ourselves as a team that cannot be separated when it comes to family decisions. We want our daughter to know that she cannot play one of us against the other, but that gets more and more difficult as I tend to be more strict than my wife. She definitely subscribes to the ideas of attachment parenting more than I am comfortable with. I have read quite a bit in order to understand the theory and I do agree with several aspects, however there are differences we don’t agree on. Luckily, our communication is strong and we are able to talk about inconsistencies to ensure that they don’t keep going. I guess the parenting thing takes practice and this is just one reminder of the fact that we are just beginning to learn the process!
b
Preparing For A New Arrival
Jan 30th
We are currently in the position that many parents find themselves, getting themselves as well as the existing children ready for a new baby. The two kids will be about 21 months apart so we think (hope) that our oldest will be able to handle the transition. Hopefully she’ll be excited about having a baby in the house and not too resentful at the same time. We’ve gotten a few children’s books about being a big sibling and have talked a lot about the new baby trying to plant the seed so that she’ll be as prepared as possible. I would like to hear some other ideas and suggestions to help make the transition as smooth as possible.
b
Reading Ideas For New/Expecting Dads
Jan 23rd
Before my daughter was born I read as much as I could about the role of fathers on their children. I realize that new fathers want to be as informed as possible, so I would like to compile a list of helpful (or not so helpful)
books and resources.
I would strongly recommend “The Expectant Father” by Armin Brott and Jennifer Ash (Abbeville Press). I’d also encourage you to read “The Collected Wisdom of Fathers” by Will Glennon (Conari Press) — while it’s not specifically for expecting dads, it is a wonderful introduction to passion and power of being a father.
Please share other titles we should consider and the insight they have provided.
b
Daycare Woes
Jan 20th
We are pulling our daughter out of her current daycare. Nothing MAJOR has happened but we are just uncomfortable with the situation. One of the other kids has bitten her multiple times and is just a bully to her. She’s also picking up a few bad habits already. This has brought up an interesting question: Should we find a place that is small and personal or something that has more of a business setting? I would love to hear some opinions on this. What kind of place do you use for daycare or would like for daycare?
b
