Blogging Anonymously
Happy Fatherhood Friday!I have been blogging for a relatively short time now. Ok, I’ve had the site for over two years but I haven’t really gotten into a rhythm of consistent posting until earlier this year. One thing that I have always had, even from the very beginning, is as much anonymity as possible for myself, my family and anyone associated with us. I have just always felt that not disclosing the identities of everyone involved is a much safer situation for all. But is this really the best policy?
I have always been a private person. I’ve never tried to "get my name" out there or become a publicity whore. I like people not knowing me. So when I decided to step up and create a blog I immediately, without question, decided that I would do what I could to make sure that no one would know exactly who was doing the writing. This is the reason that I have yet to post any pictures of me or my family. I could probably handle it if the world knew who I was but I definitely have wanted to make sure that my family remained off the radar.
As I have gotten more and more involved in the blogging community I have noticed that many parenting bloggers out there choose not to keep their identities under wraps. Seeing this has made me start to question my decision a bit and wonder if it would really be that bad if I let people into our lives a bit more. It does add a lot more of a personal touch. It helps readers connect and form a bond and that’s exactly what I want to have with my readers. I want folks to be able to feel the same emotions that I/we have felt as we have gone through our parenting experiences – that’s how we learn from each other.
Now back to my reasoning for hiding in the shadows.
There are some CRAZY people out there!!! I have paid attention to way too many scary stories about internet stalkers and such and I don’t want to run even the slightest risk of meeting up with any of these folks. In my overly paranoid perspective of the world I find it very hard to really trust many people. I can’t say that I really like distrusting people but right now, it is just the way I am. Again, I think that it would really help my psyche if I would just filter out the terrifying stories that seem to be everywhere nowadays. Maybe a change to my Google Reader feeds? 
I would like to discuss this with some of my fellow daddy/mommy bloggers, both public and anonymous, to see how exactly they came to their decisions about being public or not. I have no problem changing my position if a strong enough case and decent reasoning could be made to change me. I am not THAT stuck in my ways! I think it would be a great way to share more of our lives with readers and maybe even build a relationship that could spill over into the analog world. Who knows.
Thanks for listening.
b
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Great topic. I continually assess where I am at with this topic as well. I avoid major identifiers for me, yet provide my first name as well. I figure that if some body came up on the street and asked me my name, I would tell them my first name. I am anonymous with my kids and wifes names though. As for pictures, I avoid any picture that reveals A) location B) skin- in other words- a no to pictures with swim suits or diapers. It’s my own comfort level. I agree that in order to connect with your reader there has to be some comfort level. It’s just how comfortable are you with which level. Good discussion! -Jason
about 1 year ago
I’ve been blogging since January 2006. I’ve never posted anonymously, and I’ve openenly talked about my family. But that’s just who I am and the business I am in. I can’t very well run a parenting e-zine and social networking site if I’m disconnected from my audience. They need to know who I am and to know that I ‘get’ them. But that’s just me and my experience.
The ONLY problem I had was when I wrote a post about my then 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son playing dress-up together and posted photo of the two of them in dresses and makeup. I received hundreds of links to that photo from a *very* dubious website. I quickly removed the photo and alerted several authorities about what was going on. It scared the sh*t out of me, to say the least. Yes, there are scary things that happen on the web, but there are scary things that happen in real life, too.
If you’re going to share, you just need to be careful about what you share.
about 1 year ago
Anonymity on the web is a farce. I agree that you don’t want to flaunt your family with google map directions to your home, but fooling yourself into thinking that you are anonymous is a bit naive. Very, very few people put forth the effort required to maintain any true firewall for their identity.
about 1 year ago
Peronally, i’ve had an open internet personality since 2002. I find that the worst people I encounter in life are outside the Internet. Also, it’s just more fun when you can share pictures and stuff.
about 1 year ago
I like my anonymity. People I have formed real relationships with know my name and even my address. Not only do you readers read you site, but you don’t know who all of your readers are. Do what you are comfortable with, but be cautious about it.
about 1 year ago
I’m going to blog about this myself soon, so thank you for the timeliness. When I started personally blogging (already had been professionally) I wanted to have a certain level of personal/professional transparency because I did want to get my name out there for business and my personal endeavors. My wife had no problem with me posting pictures of her and I – but that changed when she gave birth. I agreed to not post pictures of our child in a public forum (with rare exception of identifiable headshot); we only share them with friends and family in our TotSpot account (great service) and Facebook. I have not experienced any problems to date with any of the crazies online.
about 1 year ago
Thanks for all of the great comments! It seems to be playing out about how I thought it would, fairly even splits. I agree with those of you who say that only put out there what is comfortable. I think that’s a good way to look at it. I’m sure as time progresses I’ll lower the screen a bit. As long as I don’t put up anything that completely foolish like credit cards and such.
Again, thank you all for the comments, this is the reason I love to blog, hearing from others and learning from you.
PS – Maybe once WP 2.8 comes out I’ll be able to reply directly to individual comments, until then this will have to do.
about 1 year ago
I gave up keeping the family hidden early on because it was harder to write taht way. Keeping everything a secret limite my ability to tell a story. Since I had the unveilling it is much easier to blog about my life.
about 1 year ago
The thing is, though, that I like to “know” the people who write the blogs I like as much as I can. I like to picture their perspective and connect with the authors and their lives as much as possible. I get the need for safety but I do think we lose some depth when anonymity gets in the way of the connection made between author and reader.
about 1 year ago
I am with you on the anonymous train with you buddy. I don’t have a big problem with giving out more info and pics about me and my family, but my wife is a different story. She worries about the same things you talk about, mostly the weirdos out there on the internet. I feel good writing is good writing, and that will come through an anonymous site just as good as any other. Keep up the good work, and enjoy your privacy!
about 1 year ago
You should only provide the information you feel comfortable sharing.
about 1 year ago
Gunfighter is right, first of all. You should do what is most comfortable for you no matter what anyone else does.
I wrote a book, so my full real name is already out there. I use my husband’s name when I write about him, but never would write anything about him publicly that potential employers or his grandma would find offensive or inappropriate.
I don’t use my kids’ names, for their own privacy. They’re teens and who knows if teens google each other or what, you know? (and by “google”, I mean search via internet. ha ha)
about 1 year ago
I post pics and give out our first names. I’m not sure if I’m doing this out of ignorance, but I have not had any issues so far. (knocking on wood)
about 1 year ago
I started blogging about 6 months ago and never made an attempt to hide who I was or who my family was. Granted, the only people who knew me were my friends and family, but that’s besides the point. Once I started down the path of being a “publicity whore”, or what I like to call a public blogger (sounds nicer), I thought about changing but it was too late. Plus, like you, seems like a lot of people are doing it the same way. I guess you can call me a blogger lemming, but I figure if you don’t have too much personal information (address, naked pictures, social security numbers, only 1 or 2 public credit cards), then you’re probably okay. Maybe I’m naive, or maybe I only have parent blogs on my Google Reader. Hard to say.
about 1 year ago
I’m with ya. I use my first name only and never mention my family by name. I also don’t post pics of the fam. It’s mostly for the same paranoid reasons as you. I think we can get our points across and be equally relateable without that information. After all, we’re parents, we want to do all that we can to protect our families. It’s our job. Though I’m not gonna say there aren’t times where I’m dying to post a certain pic of the kids just to drive home a point. But I refrain none-the-less.
about 1 year ago
I am a quasi anonymous blogger… anyone who works hard enough could find out my secret identity for all the good that it would do them.
The thing to remember is this: Only put yourself out there as much as you feel comfortable.