Sibling Discrepancies
Just this morning my wife signed up my daughter for a short introductory soccer class and my son for a toddler’s gymnastics class. My daughter’s class is only for four consecutive days this summer while the gymnastics class is once a week for six weeks. This is my son’s first class/activity that we have gotten him involved in. He turned two in March and we are just now getting him involved in activities. This seems much later than his sister. We had her in swimming lessons at six months. I’m just wondering if we have focused too much on her activities and not on his.
I understand that the first child tends to get a leg up on these types of things mostly because they have been around longer, almost two years in my daughter’s case. But I don’t think that’s really much of an excuse not to get our younger child involved.
One of the strongest reasons that we haven’t gotten him into more activities is because his physical development has been a bit slower than hers. He still is a bit wobbly when he walks and “runs”. He has a harder time stepping up and over things than she did at his age. Because of this we have felt that he wouldn’t get as much enjoyment from physical activities. But now reflecting back perhaps that’s exactly what he needs to help him develop those skills.
What do you think? Do you have multiple children and do you expose them to things differently? Should we have less guilt? Do you really think we landed on the moon?
b
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about 2 years ago
I think you are letting yourself feel FAR more guilty than you should. Actually, you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. Your son is two years old. He will never reflect back on this particular time in his life and lament that you deprived him of swimming lessons at six months.
It wasn’t until my two older kids were in elementary school that we even thought about enrolling them in any structured activities. They both chose swimming and gymnastics. My daughter enjoyed both but decided, after a few years, to give up gymnastics when the coach began to pressure her to join the competitive team. She only wanted to have fun. My son gave it up after only a few sessions, because it was difficult for him to have to wait his turn on the sidelines (please don’t think he is spoiled – he is ADHD/SPD, so waiting patiently in a loud space IS truly tortuous for him). They stuck with swimming for quite a number of years and then quit when they both had their fill of it. But now they are asking to continue, and that’s fine. My youngest will be 4 in July. She has never been in any structured activity, because what more does a young child need than to run and play in her own backyard? She’s now beginning to express an interest in swimming, and I feel comfortable exploring that option since she was the one who initiated it.
Please don’t think I am implying parents who enroll their children at such young ages are wrong or silly for doing so; I don’t. I think there is a lot of value in the activity when you are able to participate with your child. And I understand your guilt – truly! I didn’t even bother buying my third child a baby book! Subsequent child miss out, whether it’s for lack of time or resources.
The point is, don’t sweat it. If you are worried about your son’s gross motor skills, take him outside and the two of you kick and toss a ball around, roll in the grass, run and jump together . . .