Smartfathers.com: Fatherhood, parenting, technology and other assorted ramblings of a dad.

I remember

Feb 14th

I remember thinking
Sometimes we walk
Sometimes we run away
No matter how fast we are running
Somehow we keep
Somehow we keep up with each other

He Lied To Get INTO Trouble?

Mar 5th

Posted by b in Fatherhood

No comments

Hmm, this one really threw us for a loop.

I picked up the kids at school (they are in the same class) on Wednesday and one of the first things that my son told me was that he had to be the teacher’s shadow for the day. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not so when I asked him he said it was a bad thing. After asking multiple times what he did to warrant such punishment he said he hit and kicked someone. When asked who he did this to he tells me HIS TEACHER!!! Naturally I was completely stunned and had no words. On the way home I asked him why and he just said he didn’t know.

We finally get home and he tells his mother and she’s in tears. We just couldn’t understand why in the world he would do such a thing. We discussed it and then enacted his punishment. He was confined to his room except for dinner and had to miss out on some family fun time which we embellished so he would really be disappointed that he was missing all the fun. We also gave plenty of praise and attention to his sister. And here’s the great part regarding her. She backed up his story. She told us with no hesitation that she saw the whole thing and he did in fact hit and kick his teacher.

Later in the evening we decided to email his teacher to get her take on it because we were still having a hard time understanding why he would do such a thing. Her reply confirmed that there was an attitude incident but wasn’t really a very big deal and that he in fact DID NOT hit or kick her or ANYONE at all!!! She even said that there shouldn’t be a need for any punishment because the infraction was so minor.

We sunk. For some reason our son (and his sister) made up this story and stuck to it for the entire evening, even while being punished! Why? He never once backed down from his story. Why? I can’t imagine.

The next day we did in fact confirm that he never touched anyone both from him and his teacher. We now have two things that we are trying to deal with. 1) Why he lied, suffered through punishment and why he never told us the truth. 2) Why his sister also lied, allowing her brother to get into trouble. I’m sure once she realized that she was looking like a saint she knew she couldn’t back out.

We never encountered such a thing so quite frankly we’re still having to digest it and consider our next move. Sometimes kids really confuse the hell out of me.

b

Parenting, Fathering, Dads, Parents, Children, Kids, Behavior, Lying

Bedtime Sux

Oct 26th

Posted by b in Fatherhood

1 comment

My wife and I have always known that children are always in a phase and it will change. Son being a total cuddler and lover? Just wait, it will change. Daughter driving you nuts with asking for new shoes every time you go shopping? Just wait, it will change. But I have to tell you, I CAN’T WAIT until this latest phase passes, with both of them! More >

Behavior, Children, Dads, Fathering, Kids, Parenting, Parents

We Just Might Be Ok

Mar 4th

Posted by b in Fatherhood

No comments

This is actually Tom's Restaurant, NYC. Famous...

Image via Wikipedia

Here’s a quick little story that makes me think that our kids may turn out ok, in spite of us. Last night we went to dinner and my daughter ordered the penne with alfredo while the little man ordered grilled cheese. (I’m glad they found something. It’s not always easy when a restaurant doesn’t have mac & cheese.) When the food came out the little princess dove right in enjoying every bite. My son however ate a few fries then decided that he wanted "spaghetti with white sauce". He wouldn’t give it up. He cried. He yelled. He threw a fit. It was killing us but we just couldn’t set the precedent that we can change what we want at any time and get it!

After she had had enough food the princess slid her bowl over to the prince and told him that he could have the rest. My wife and I smiled as we watched. We were so proud. But it gets better. Little boy grubbed down the pasta until there was only 1 or 2 pieces left and put the spoon in the bowl and GAVE IT BACK TO HIS SISTER!!! We told him that he could finish it but he insisted that she eat the rest. I thought our jaws were going to literally hit the floor. It was a beautiful thing.

Never underestimate your children. They will always surprise you.

b

Children, Parenting, Proud, Siblings

I Hate Valentine’s Day And I’m Not Single

Feb 12th

Posted by b in Ramblings

1 comment

There are certain things about certain holidays that drive me up the flipping wall. I hate how Christmas/Hanukkah/Winter Solstice holidays start in October. I hate how Easter now seems to require gifts, although, the Cadbury eggs make up for this. And I HATE Valentine’s day. I can’t stand the idea that I HAVE to be romantic or buy more stuff just to show the woman that I married and have had 2 kids with that I love her.

I must mention that I have the best wife ever because she doesn’t demand or expect an over-the-top Valentine’s day. She knows I love her and I show her that EVERY day of the year. She has learned to live with my contempt for many of our holidays and for that I love her.

What bothers me is the pressure from society and especially manufacturers/retailers that you are a rotten spouse/partner/boyfriend if you don’t go spend a ton of cash on this particular day. The commercialism of our holidays is getting way out of hand to the point that I’m considering ignoring them completely. Seriously, what’s the point?

Wait, I would keep Thanksgiving. I love this holiday. Nothing but food, friends, family and fun. No cards, no jewelry, no commercialism. Perfect.

Yeah, I’m a little grumpy today.

b

Holidays, Husband, Rant, Valentine's Day

Our Little Princess

Jan 8th

Posted by b in Parenting

No comments

Behold the princess of the house!

When this little one was in the womb we never would have dreamed that she would be such a little girly girl/princess. Our friends with girls would warn us and tell us how EVERY girl does it but we thought we would have the exception to the rule and she would avoid pink. WE WERE WRONG!!

We are up to our eyeballs in pink/princess/fairy/purple/ballerina goodness. I’m not sure how many magic wands we have had to replace. She has more dresses and tutus than any real princess or ballerina, EVER. Sometimes I really find it astonishing. It isn’t like we care, we are just rather surprised. I guess we were imagining more of a tom-boy type.

So why am I voicing our previous expectations and now surprise: What’s my point? Because it leads to beautiful photos like this one and that’s what we REALLY care about.

Have a great weekend!

b

Daughters, Fairy, Parenting, Princess

Digital Life, Simplified

Oct 13th

Posted by b in Technology

3 comments

3503946843_4251702fa4 I’m a geek. I admit it. I LOVE technology, gadgets and all that kind of stuff. Spending hours just playing with toys, tinkering away a weekend, that’s how I love to spend my time. At least that’s what I like to do when I’m not hanging out with my family. I’m not sure what it is exactly that keeps me so enamored with it all but I guess you can’t always explain someone’s passion. As much as I love all things digital I am beginning to wonder if maybe I need to simplify things a bit. Do a bit of pruning if you will. I think I may have crossed a threshold that I am spending more time taking care of my gadgets and they are consuming more of my time than maybe they should.

I have been scaling back some for the past number of weeks. I try to only work on one computer most of the time instead of making certain duties designated to certain machines. One computer should be plenty for day-to-day "work" and I really think I’m getting to that point. I figure with the appropriate backup solutions in place and working more "in the cloud" I should be able to get everything accomplished with fewer systems.

My main setup now is a Mac Book Pro 13" and my iPhone 3G. I decided to use a Mac more than my PC because, to be quite honest, I was tired of maintaining it. I simply spent way more time updating, scanning and tinkering than actually using it. Now I have a streamlined system with only a laptop and my phone. So far this is proving to be a much better situation. Most of the time. I have encountered a few issues with software not being a the Mac flavor or not existing at all and I’ve had to modify my workflow a bit but even that has been very minimal. When I do need a Windows only application I simply fire up Virtual Box where I have an Windows XP virtual machine and I can do anything I need. Having a VM on my laptop also helps me by not having to worry about syncing files. The originals are stored in folders that both Mac and PC can use.

Before, I had a home PC, work PC (at my regular job) and a laptop. Most of the time this worked perfectly fine but I always had to make sure things were syncing properly and at all times. All three systems needed to have updated software in some fashion, three times the work if a major upgrade came out for anything. All of these systems just got to be more than what I wanted to deal with so here I am.

I will say that my current digital life if MUCH more calm and usable. I don’t have to look for files on different computers, I get to use my iPhone with a Mac (which seems to work a LOT better) and I have everything I need with me at all times because I always have my phone and my laptop goes with me to work. The giddy geek inside is very happy.

b